Toilet paper claw... pickle claw.

see the unlike bar? exactly

WHERE WERE MY ROSE PETALS???

Her pickle chunk is literally the reason I always reach for a fork when I open a brand new pickle jar. I love Ellen!

im a 15 year old boy. i know she is gay but i think im in love with her. she is sooooooo funny and fresh. thankyou ellen for being so amazing

chunks of your weave....i love her.

8 people got pickle juice in their eyes 

hahaha "pickles are packed as tightly as pickles....it will catch on...."

i love ELLEN

First day of parole XD

Omigosh I love Ellen! She speaks the truth so well. It's just so halarious. Lol.

"well you're welcome your majesty!"

When i was at the airport i thought about Ellen talking about those ''rides'' and how you almost fall off when their done. that thing that she did, that happened to me. I never wanted to laugh so hard before!

"as the doors are closing I DID ALL I COULD!" LOL

"How do you think I got here, helicoptered in? LOL!

some people say im mad hahahahaha... what? 

Lmbo At The BIONIC WOMAN Joke. Lol Classic!

I've done the exact same thing when someone is kicking my chair in the movies. It's amazing that she doesn't swear even once and I'm still laughing my ass off.

Degenius

Dear Ellen, Please do some more stand up. We love you, we love your show, but you are just too damn funny and amazing and we want more. Please? Love, Your adoring fans

" hey you want to smell something weird? " hahahahaha im gonnah ask someone that when im in the elevator

"Toilet paper claw. Pickle claw" LOL XD

Omg I absolutely died at the "Wanna smellsomething weird?" Another thing is whenever someone comes on the elevator you say "Welcome aboard, sailor!"

soOorry